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Have an apple, go for a walk that doesn’t end at the pub or liquor store.

Try aromatherapy with fart jars from an internet princess.

A spoilt essence can reset the factory settings

of an olfactory memory. Cure the fetishization of mental illness.

Visit a sledgehammer acupuncturist for some true precision medicine.

Try interpretative rorschach blot cloud watching, journal it

burn the paper so the smoke signal rejoins the possible sky.

Try thumb sucking so hard you release the traumas of your inner child.

Try contacting your childhood imaginary friend with the ouija and a discount clairvoyant

address your abandonment issues, that vanished 5 bucks they borrowed. Demand an apology.

As for what the future holds, the ad said there’s a free palm reading

with purchase of divination.